Tools
The Myth-Buster

The Myth-Buster

A few people can connect with anyone, anywhere.

Why is it that in every culture we find a few people who can connect with anyone, everywhere they go, without any particular language skill, or without knowing the intricacies of the culture they are dealing with?—Because these few practise a universally productive code of communication, and they intuitively understand the difference between what is universally natural and what is culturally imposed. And they target similarities, not differences.

For years I have offered a program that teaches the mindset and logic behind this model, and specific skills to practise it. (Global communication for successful leaders, and those who aspire to be, of any age, culture, gender, nationality—or any walk of life.)

Engagement, influence, leadership and productive relationships are to be found by addressing people and issues in ways that appeal universally, to all people—not by propagating myths about how different we are from each other. “Cross-cultural communication” is a big industry, and succeeds in perpetuating myths that perpetuate the industry—a good business model, but I have no time for the gratuitous patronising nonsense I hear, especially in Japan, where I have worked since 1979.

Yes, there are big differences in the way people, talk, decide, interact and do business, and we must understand and embrace them. A good universal communicator picks up these differences quickly and intuitively, with the help of a few intelligent conversations. However, most people remain oblivious, or worse, learn a few bullet points and think they know enough—whether they are locals looking out, or outsiders looking in. Let me take you a few layers deeper, to the common global communication culture shared by humans everywhere.

Leo Tolstoy opened his novel ‘Anna Karenina’ with the words: “Happy families are the same; unhappy families are unhappy in many different ways.” I believe the same of communicators. Effective communicators are all the same; ineffective communicators are each ineffective in different ways. In many examples of cross-cultural training I have seen ineffective ways of communication presented as unique to a particular group, therefore to be emulated as the ‘right’ way to communicate with them. I disagree.

We must always ask ourselves ‘What is most effective?’ and apply observation and thought to finding the answer, not just ‘What do people do?’, because frankly, what most people do is rather ineffective, and following it does not make you a leader. I have seen this in many countries and cultures: none particularly stand out.

I prefer to coach people who have the intellect and wisdom to be drawn to this philosophy.

If that is you—contact me.

"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow."

— Woodrow Wilson
"Absolute identity with one's cause is the first and great condition of successful leadership."

— Woodrow Wilson
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt."

— William Shakespeare
"I will praise any man that will praise me."

— William Shakespeare
"Faith, there hath been many great men that have flattered the people who ne'er loved them."

— William Shakespeare
"Brevity is the soul of wit."

— William Shakespeare
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."

— William Butler Yeats
"Does experience help? NO! Not if we are doing the wrong things."

— W. Edwards Deming
"It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and then do your best."

— W. Edwards Deming
"Management is about arranging and telling. Leadership is about nurturing and enhancing."

— Tom Peters
"The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none."

— Thomas Carlyle
"Let him who would be moved to convince others, be first moved to convince himself."

— Thomas Carlyle
"Presentation is the killer skill we take into the real world. It is almost an unfair advantage. "

— The McKinsey Mind
"A cardinal principle of Total Quality escapes too many managers: you cannot continuously improve interdependent systems and processes until you progressively perfect interdependent, interpersonal relationships."

— Stephen Covey
"Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall."

— Stephen Covey
"The passionate are the only advocates who always persuade. The simplest man with passion will be more persuasive than the most eloquent man without."

— Ren
"You're only as good as the people you hire."

— Ray Kroc
"Eloquence is the power to translate a truth into language perfectly intelligible to the person to whom you speak."

— Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers."

— Ralph Nader
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled."

— Plutarch
"Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed."

— Peter Drucker
"Effective leadership is not about making speeches or being liked; leadership is defined by results not attributes."

— Peter Drucker
"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."

— Peter Drucker
"Communication always makes demands. It always demands that the recipient become somebody, do something, believe something. It always appeals to motivation."

— Peter Drucker
"Communication is defined by the recipient."

— Peter Drucker
"To have long term success as a coach or in any position of leadership, you have to be obsessed in some way."

— Pat Riley
"Articles deliver the facts, pictures tell the story."

— New York Times archives
"It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership."

— Nelson Mandela
"You can tell a man is clever by his answers. You can tell a man is wise by his questions."

— Naguib Mahfouz Egyptian novelist, Nobel Prize Laureate
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."

— Mark Twain
"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."

— Mark Twain
"Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself."

— Marcus Tullius Cicero
"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. "

— Leonardo da Vinci
"Go to the people. Learn from them. Live with them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. The best of leaders when the job is done, when the task is accomplished, the people will say we have done it ourselves."

— Lao Tsu
"The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind."

— Khalil Gibran
"The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority."

— Ken Blanchard
"Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them."

— John C. Maxwell
"Real communication is an attitude, an environment. It’s the most interactive of all processes. It requires countless hours of eyeball-to-eyeball back and forth. It involves more listening than talking. It is a constant, interactive process aimed at [creating] consensus."

— Jack Welch
"There is nothing noble about being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self."

— Hindu Proverb
"Don't find fault, find a remedy."

— Henry Ford
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."

— Henry Ford
"The secret of my success is a two word answer: Know people."

— Harvey S. Firestone
"Leadership cannot really be taught. It can only be learned."

— Harold S. Geneen
"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity."

— George Patton
"The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it."

— George Bernard Shaw
"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

— George Bernard Shaw
"I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues."

— Franklin D. Roosevelt
"If they can see us working we aren't working hard enough."

— Frank Sinatra
"Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."

— Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening."

— Dorothy Sarnoff
"Wise kings generally have wise counsellors; and he must be a wise man himself who is capable of distinguishing one."

— Diogenes
"Our business is infested with idiots who try to impress by using pretentious jargon. "

— David Ogilvy
"True eloquence, indeed, does not consist in speech. It cannot be brought from far. Labor and learning may toil for it, but they will toil in vain. Words and phrases may be marshalled in every way, but they cannot compass it. It must exist in the man, in the subject, and in the occasion."

— Daniel Webster
"If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."

— Dale Carnegie
"The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence."

— Confucius
"If the truth were self evident, eloquence would be unnecessary."

— Cicero
"Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow."

— Chinese Proverb
"You've got to learn your instrument. Then, you practice, practice, practice. And then, when you finally get up there on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail."

— Charlie Parker (1920-1955) Jazz musician
"Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why."

— Bernard Baruch
"To succeed in business it is necessary to make others see things as you see them."

— Aristotle Onassis
"Quality is not an act, it is a habit."

— Aristotle
"People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel."

— Anonymous
"An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't."

— Anatole France
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."

— Albert Einstein
"Try not to become a man of success but a man of value."

— Albert Einstein
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

— Albert Einstein
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

— Albert Einstein
"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."

— Albert Einstein
"A new idea comes suddenly and in a rather intuitive way. But intuition is nothing but the outcome of earlier intellectual experience."

— Albert Einstein